When we’re kids, we got excited about birthdays and the holidays because it meant new toys. Now that we’re adults we can still have the same excitement because they make toys for us grown-ups too!
However, some people feel overwhelmed by all the different types of sex toys that are on the market today. Sound familiar? Do you want to buy a sex toy but you’re not sure which one is for you? Not sure how to talk to your partner about adding sex toys into your sexual repertoire? Do you want to learn how sex toys can spice up your relationship?
Then we have just the webinar for you! It’s called Toy Time with The Love Birds – Sex Toys 101 and it is absolutely free courtesy of Club CalExotics. In this webinar, you will discover
- How to introduce the use of sex toys into the bedroom as a couple.
- Different types of sex toys and their uses.
- The ins and outs of using sex toys safely.
- How sex toys can spice up your relationship!
You will also have an opportunity to ask your most burning questions about sex toys and get a chance to win some sex toys. So, please join us for this fun and informative webinar. Looking forward to seeing you there!
All attendees will receive an Official Toy Time Certificate of Completion. Space is limited. Must be 18 or older.
Register here for Toy Time with the Love Birds—Sex Toys 101.
Written By: The Love Birds are Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird, Board Certified Clinical Sexologists, Relationship Counselors, and CalExotics Expert Sexperts. Find them at www.ChuckandJoAnnBird.com and onwww.ClubCalexotics.com
I recently took a client on an intensive to Harbin Hot Springs, one of my favorite places on the planet. Immediately upon arrival, I found myself soaking in the warmth of the Heart Pool and couldn’t help but overhear a conversation happening next to me about conscious relationships and sexuality. I introduced myself and within moments found out that one of the men is an author and expert on mindfulness. Next thing I knew I had his book in my hands (The Art of Mindful Living, by Tobin Giblin) and planned to attend his class the following day. During the class I found myself, and my client, swimming in the deliciousness of our desires, mindful of everything that brought us pleasure.
When I arrived home I read Tobin’s book on mindful living. While the content was nothing I hadn’t studied before, it was a wonderful reminder of a number of mindfulness practices. As a result, I noticed myself harnessing my thoughts in more powerful ways and feeling more peaceful.
What does it mean to practice the art of Mindful Sex? Here are three principals to begin practicing:
Principal 1: Attention to Pleasure
I’m always saying that if I had one thing to teach you about becoming a better lover, to yourself and others, it would be Attention. The important thing to ask yourself is, ‘What are you placing your attention on? Can you bring all your attention, all your awareness into the pleasure happening in the present moment?” Take your awareness out of your mind and into your body. Where attention goes pleasure flows. When your attention wanders away, bring it back to your body, to sensation, to your partner’s expressions of pleasure.
Principal 2: Be Kinder to Yourself
Do you have that little voice in your head that says you don’t have the right kind of body type to be sexy, that you don’t deserve pleasure, that you aren’t very good in bed? We all have that voice. The critic inside our heads that never lets us be perfect just the way we are. Even if we are awesome, this voice says “Don’t be too awesome, you might make someone else feel badly.” Instead of letting this voice run the show, before and during intimate encounters you must give it a better job. The critic most likely was created by your psyche to protect you in some way. It would never speak to a child that way, or anyone else for that matter. So you must convince it that you are as precious as a child, and in order to protect you it is time for it to get a new job of elevating this precious part of you.
Principal 3: Openness and Willingness
I see so many people who are so rigid about sex. They are not willing to ride the peaks of pleasure. They are closed in their minds and hearts. They are afraid to open; afraid that if they do they will be hurt. Perhaps you can relate. In practicing mindful sex you need to be willing to be with the pain, to be with the fear. In my early days as a Tantra teacher I learned how to witness my emotions, whether they be joy or sadness, anger or ecstasy. By allowing and opening to all emotions, we unfreeze parts of ourselves and invite in more aliveness and pleasure. By saying yes to it all, we celebrate all that life brings us. Sex is part of life. Being open to and willing to explore our sexuality, as scary as that may be, brings us more aliveness, more health, and more happiness. The scary stuff isn’t going to go away, so why not be willing to be with those emotions instead of trying to hide from them? As Tobin Giblin says, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf!”
Sex is full of powerful waves. Some lap at you lovingly and could wash over you with bliss, and some are strong tidal waves that crash into you with transformational force. The key is to be mindful. Watch your thoughts like passing clouds. Bring your attention back to your body with breath, sound and movement. Treat yourself as you would treat those you love most, and be willing to look and stay open in the face of the shadows.
Want to learn more? Join the conversation about Mindful Sex at Club CalExotics.
Written By: Jaiya is an award-winning Somatic Sexologist, author of Red Hot Touch and Blow Each Other Away, founder of New World Sex Education and a California Exotic Novelties’ Expert Sexpert. She can be found at www.missjaiya.com and onwww.ClubCalExotics.com.
Creating a love nest is very important. But sadly, the boudoir is sometimes overlooked and severely neglected. When thinking about your bedroom, is it a place you can relax and unwind? Do you want to spend time in there? Is it romantic? Or is your bedroom a place you want to avoid? Is it cluttered or filled with work?
Think about it, “Where the attention goes, the energy flows.” Thus, if you want more energy in the bedroom, then you must put some attention into it! So let’s get started! Here are a few simple Dos and Don’ts to help you create your very own love nest.
- Have computers, iPhones, televisions and other electronic work distractions in your bedroom. Studies show that couples with a television in their bedroom have half the amount of sex as couples who don’t. (However, you can have a television in the bedroom only if you use it to watch erotic videos!)
- Work desks, office stuff, etc.
- Exercise equipment
- Baby stuff
- Clutter and dirt
- Bright colors or loud/busy patterns on the walls
- Overly bright lights
- Uncomfortable and noisy bed
- And of course, child-like décor. Meaning, no race car beds!
- Consider using all your senses (sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste)!
- Use satin sheets or soft bed sheets with high thread counts (over 350)
- Fur blankets, shag rugs and soft area carpets help to dampen noises
- Use candles (including massage candles – some are even edible) and potpourri
- Romantic wall colors (neutral tones are calming and soothing, warm tones are sexy and cool tones can be spa-like, relaxing and calming)
- Mirrors and romantic photos (black and white pictures, landscapes, etc.)
- Soft/dim lighting
- CD player or iPod with romantic music ready to be played
- A chest or secret decorative box (to store all your fun and sexy toys and aids, of course!)
- A small box or bowl of chocolates on the night stand
- Unique bedroom furniture that is multi-purpose!
- And of course, a good comfortable and quiet bed!
We hope this helps you create your love nest and get some positive and sexy energy into your bedroom. Remember, even small changes can yield big results! So get started!
Want more tips on Bedroom Do’s and Don’ts? The conversation is happening right now on Club CalExotics. Join us there.
Written By: The Love Birds are Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird, Board Certified Clinical Sexologists, Relationship Counselors, and CalExotics Expert Sexperts. Find them at www.ChuckandJoAnnBird.com and onwww.ClubCalexotics.com.