As part of our F-Machine™ Summer Bonus Offer, we put our best-selling item in the hands of someone who was chomping at the bit to get her hands on it – our friend the Porn Star Hunter, Jay Taylor.

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This toy might just be too much fun… I have wanted to own my very own fuck machine since I knew they existed and finally having one is just as much of a blast as I expected.

My boyfriend and I played with it together in my carpeted living room (the main place I masturbate) the first time. For those using this on a smooth surface (tiles or hardwood floor), an optional suction cup anchor is available. So I just hung out while he assembled it. It took him less than ten minutes and came with the few tools and instructions that were required. MoreThanSexToys.com has great instructional videos available for quick and easy reference such as the one below.

I’m not a fan of the dong… It seems like people (*cough* men *cough*) like to design dildos how they wished their own cocks looked, i.e. super big, super hard, super veiny… Which doesn’t really make much sense because that’s not what the vagina was designed to accommodate, but whatever looks cool, I guess. I slapped a condom on it as a barrier to the latex and had lots of lube handy. I know there’s a Universal Suction Cup attachment (like the one shown below) so you can use almost any dildo, but I have not tried that out yet.

It was ready to use very quickly and I’m very impressed with how quiet it is. Quieter than my vibrators, actually. It of course gets louder when you up the ante, but not enough to be worried about your neighbors hearing. It took A LOT of adjusting and finagling to get to the right height, angle, and depth; but was super easy to move around, and then we were able to play.

I’m a very lazy masturbator and my go to position is on my back expending the least amount of energy possible, but I really enjoyed using it in a couple setting because we got to do and feel things we haven’t up to this point (like having my clit licked while I’m being fucked, AMAZING) and he liked seeing how much I could take. We messed around until I was tired and then put it away.

I didn’t fully disassemble it for storage because I want the option to be able to get it out use it as quickly as possible, and I was surprised by how light it was out of the box. Maybe it was just all that Styrofoam packing material that made it feel heavy when I received the package…but when fully assembled, it comes in at just over 22 pounds. It easily fits on the shelf in my closet and I’m not at worried about lifting it up or pulling it down.

The second time I used it was solo and on cam and my goal was to just play with it. I know that a lot of girls use fucking machines for games and countdown shows but I think my aim was more to just have a reason to talk out loud about what I was doing. I eventually just completely ignored the camera and just jerked off while reading erotica with one hand and using my vibrator and fiddling with the dial controller with the other.

Since I left it mostly assembled, that was no problem, except for the thruster rod. I had a couple questions about that for my boyfriend, and since there really isn’t a round hole for the round rod I got a little confused… We figured it out though. He just told me that the only way it fits is the way it fits. It doesn’t tighten around the rod so much as around it.

It was just BARELY tall enough to use on my couch, and then there was a lot of figuring out angles and depth and stuff before I could just lie back and get fucked and that’s when I found the worst thing about this toy… It’s too good. It’s too much fun. I laid there for almost an hour getting fucked by a robot and was totally sore the next two days. 99% of this session I spent on my back. I hopped into doggy for like a second but decided it was stupid. I don’t think that the toy’s fault so much as a mindset thing for me. Again, lazy masturbator.

It might have had something to do with the fact that I was on cam and distracted, but I got close so many times and then had to stop because it was too intense. I don’t think this is practical for fast masturbation, but it is definitely very luxurious and I plan on spending lots of time enjoying it by myself and with my friends.

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Stay tuned for our follow-up to this review when Jay and her friends share more details and pics about their experience with this top of the line sex machine.