The Art of Ravishment

The Art of Ravishment

For the past year I’ve been playing around with idea of ravishment. As a woman I LOVE to be ravished by my partner, to be taken, to be devoured. My partner is really into Contact Dance. He was the first man I have fully surrendered to. It was because he knew how to move my body. He knew how to control it, how to take me when I gave him the space, and how to push against me when I wanted to be matched.

This all got me thinking. Are you a woman dying to be “taken”…to be ravished and met by a man? Guys, do you want to learn how to “take” her without worrying about hurting her or getting too rough? Or it may be vice-versa. I know many guys who want to be taken, and it can be fun to reverse roles.

I think ravishment might be my new passion. And now that I’ve tested it with a number of my private students and they have reported it to be very effective for them, I believe this information might be ready for the world!

First, to further explain “ravishment”: in the ravished role, the man in a woman’s fantasy is so insatiable for her, so in lust for her, that he can’t resist, and once he has her, he can’t get enough of her. In almost a savage lust he sweeps her off her feet, carries her off to the bed, and ravages and has his way with her with an overwhelming passion. Oftentimes, there is an appearance of restraint and resistance. This intense physicality also often expresses and feeds into emotional intensity. It is so HOT!

3 Rules for Ravishing

1) Setting Safety: It’s important that you both agree upon who is ravishing who, and setting safety words if you need to pause or stop. I like using colors. “Green” means keep going, “yellow” means pause, and “red” means stop. Since coercion and resistance is an integral part of this fantasy scene, it is especially important that there is an agreed upon understanding of when to STOP or PAUSE!

2) Security Sandwiches: It’s important that if you are doing the ravishing that you help your partner feel like you really have them. Setting safety helps with verbal security, but you also have to communicate to their body that it is safe. You do this with your own body and your hands. You have to send the message “I’ve got you!” to them. Do this by placing your hands on large bony parts of the body: shoulders, hip bones, skull. Use these bones as handles.

3) Surrender & Struggle: The person being ravished can control when they fully surrender and when they want to struggle against being taken. This is an art to practice and play with. As the ravisher is holding a hip or shoulder the person being taken is playing with either allowing the ravisher to move them, or struggling against them.

Practice at home or in a hotel room and see how it works for you. Don’t be afraid to get crazy! I hope to develop a video on this soon. In the meantime, feel free to comment about the Art of Ravishment on Club CalExotics, and share about your own experiences.

Written By: Jaiya is an award-winning Somatic Sexologist, author of Red Hot Touch and Blow Each Other Away, founder of New World Sex Education and a California Exotic Novelties’ Expert Sexpert. She can be found at and

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